When Forever Ends
by AngelDusterBuster
Summary: *Post OoTP* Harry’s world was shaken forever following the death of his godfather. But he’s beginning to learn things about Sirius that he wished he never had. Could it be that the Sirius Black in which Harry thought he knew was a lie?
1. Default Chapter

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When Forever Ends

By: AngelDusterBuster

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Author's Note: This takes place AFTER the Order of the Phoenix; do not read this unless you have COMPLETED book five.

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Summary: Harry's world was shaken forever after the death of his godfather. But he's beginning to learn things about Sirius that he wished he never had. Could it be that the Sirius Black in which Harry thought he knew was a lie? 

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Chapter One: Moving Forward

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"Harry, take the prophecy, grab Neville, and run!"

Harry Potter jumped into a sitting position, cold swear dripping down his face. This same dream woke him every single night. But you could hardly call it a dream, as it was reality. The reality that Harry had come to face everyday since his godfather's death. 

But to make things worse, there was nobody there when Harry woke up in tears. There was no one there telling him everything would be alright. And for the first time ever, he couldn't blame Dumbledore for keeping him locked up at the Dursley's house.

He had his moments. Moments where darkness seemed to surround him, and all he wanted to do was give up. But he knew he couldn't. If it was the last thing he ever did he would kill Voldemort. He would get revenge for his godfather's death. And most of the time, these angry thoughts were all the possessed his mind.

Harry reached toward a small nightstand beside his bed. There was a picture sitting there, a picture that made Harry hurt inside all over every time he looked at it. It was of course a picture of his parents, Remus Lupin, and Sirius. He felt a tear roll down his face, as he tried to stop himself from shaking. 

The loss of his godfather was far worse then his parents deaths. After all, he'd barely known his parents. And now just when he'd started getting close to Sirius his life had tragically ended. A death that Harry would call his own fault forever.

It'd been nearly two months now since Harry's world changed forever. The letters had been pouring in through his window all summer, but there were very few he found himself actually responding too. Anyone from the order, but the reason for this was obvious. 

"BOY!", Vernon Dursley shouted from the floor below, "GET DOWN HERE!"

Harry took a deep breath rubbing his eyes clear from the tears. The last person he wanted to see him upset was his uncle. He set the picture frame down with a deep sigh as he made his way downstairs. But the first smile in months appeared on his face as he heard a familiar voice.

"You do realize you could've easily walked up the stairs rather than screaming at him.", Remus Lupin stared across the room at Harry's uncle.

"Just take the boy", Vernon kept his loud tone, "he's been moping around here all summer anyway. Don't know what you people did to the boy but it's wonderful. Barely said a word all summer!"

"Lupin?", Harry questioned as he entered the room, "what are you doing here….I mean…is something wrong?"

Remus turned to face Harry, "nothing new…just thought you'd like to get out of here a few days earlier. But you can stay if you'd like."

Harry nodded without a second thought, "I…I mean if you want me to come."

"Pack your things", Vernon grunted looking up from the television set, "you're leaving!"

Harry nodded rushing back upstairs to his room. He began carelessly throwing his possessions into his school trunk. The mere thought of being able to leave the Dursley's was a wonderful feeling. But Harry froze when he noticed a letter lying in one of his drawers. His heart stopped as he noticed the handwriting on the letter.

"Thought I'd help you….I truly do think Moody scared your uncle half to death! I've never seen someone so afraid of a wizard before", Remus stood in the doorway, "Harry…are you okay?"

Harry nodded slowly as he leaned against his bed, "I just…I just found a letter he wrote me. Sorry…I'm fine."

Remus immediately knew the "he" in which Harry had been referring to. He held a hand out to help Harry to his feet. 

"It's okay to be hurt Harry", Remus pulled Harry into a hug, "you know that don't you?"

Harry refusing to pull away spoke, "Please don't leave me…I don't want to lose you too."

Remus gently pushed Harry away grabbing him by the shoulders, "Sirius did not want to leave you Harry. He loves you…he wants to be here more then anything in the world."

Harry bit his lip, it was obvious he was holding back his emotions. He watched from afar as Remus packed the rest of his things. Minutes later Remus put a hand on his shoulder, and the two made their way out of the Dursley home. 

"Do we…do we have to fly?", Harry asked suddenly, "where are we going?"

"We have to get so far away from the Dursley's house because of the protection wards…but were going to use portkey as close as we can get to the err….order headquarters. I wasn't sure you'd be up to flying.", Remus added.

Harry stopped suddenly staring at Remus, "I'm not going to Sirius' house….I'm not!"

Remus sighed slightly, "I know Harry but you've got to. It's only a few days and there's really nobody there right now. Ahh…here we go, ready?"

Harry nodded, as he felt the familiar dizzy sensation come over him. Upon landing, he felt Remus steady him as they made their way toward the Order Headquarters. For the first time he realized life was starting again, and he wasn't sure he was ready to go with it.

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"Potter, it's no wonder you're so small, you've barely touched your supper", Moody stated at supper later that evening, "they did feed you didn't they?"

Harry nodded silently as he continued to pick at his supper. Truth was he wasn't very much up to eating that evening. Being in Sirius' house made his mind play tricks on him. Every time he turned around the corner he expected too see his godfather coming toward him. He was almost starting to think he'd have been better at the Dursley's for the last few days of summer. 

Harry noticed Remus had shaken his head at Moody obviously telling him not to press the issue. Of all people Remus had to understand the most how Harry was feeling. He knew Remus was suffering every bit as much as he was plus more. Besides Harry himself, Sirius was all he'd had left. He'd been just a baby when his parents died, but he expected it hadn't been any easier for Remus then. Sirius had been accused of murder, and James and Lily Potter killed. 

"Maybe you should just head up to bed Harry", Remus caught Harry's eye, "you look exhausted."

Again Harry gave a simple nod, halfway grateful to escape the unbearable silence of the dinner table. But as he began walking away, the other half of him wasn't ready to walk the halls on his own. Halfway up the staircase he collapsed to a sitting position. His head lay in his hands as he felt pain in his stomach. He'd suffered physical pain for years, but Harry had no idea how to deal with something such as the loss of a loved one. 

The fact that Sirius died to save Harry was a thought that burned though his mind majority of the time he was awake. There's only one way to escape this pain he'd often thought to himself. Everyone had told him Sirius was with his parents watching over him, but he couldn't help but wonder what it'd be like to have his parents and Sirius back. He heard footsteps walking toward him, but he didn't bother looking up. 

"Harry", Remus sat down on the steps, "Harry I…I don't know what to say to you. I want to make things better but…I know I can't."

Harry turned away, "It's fine…I'm fine. Everything's fine."

Remus shut his own eyes for a moment, "This is exactly what Sirius wouldn't have wanted. He wouldn't want either of us to let our lives stop because of him. But speaking from someone who's been in this same position before…it is possible to start your life again."

Harry shook his head furiously, "Why do you even bother with me? I'll probably get you killed too. They should just lock me up somewhere until I starve to death. That way I wouldn't be the cause of anymore deaths. How many have a racked up now anyway? At least four…"

"This is not your fault Harry", Remus spoke softly, "of all people…I should've known Sirius couldn't handle being kept here for so long. Being so far from the one thing he'd been fighting for. Look, we can all sit here and place blame on ourselves but the harsh reality is that it isn't going to do any of us any good. Good old Sirius is probably laughing about how not heroic he thinks his death was…"

Harry's eyes grew cold, "So you think this is funny do you?"

"Harry I--"

Harry stood up from the stair he'd been seated upon. He rushed up the stairs leaping them two at a time. At that moment he wanted to be anywhere but where he was, and he was determined to make that happen. He could hear Remus following slowly behind him, but he quickly shut the door to the room he was staying in before he could enter.

"Open the door Harry", Remus shouted twisting the handle harshly, "right now!"

From the inside of the room, Harry stared at the door. He pulled the sheets from off the bed and tossed them across the room. Anything in his reach met the same situation before he'd finally exhausted himself. He sat down on the far corner of the mattress, and pulled his legs in toward his body. As his breath began to slow down he brushed away fresh tears from his face. But when the door finally opened up, it wasn't Remus that stepped through.

"Wow…you sure know how to damage a room pretty fast don't you Harry?", Ron Weasley's voice came from the doorway, "think you're about done? Or should I duck?"

Harry stared across the room at his best friend, whom at the moment he was anything but happy to see. His eyes turned to face the ground as Ron slowly and nervously approached him.

"They….they thought maybe you'd rather talk to me then Lupin", Ron sat down beside Harry tossing a small ball and forth between his hands, "I did tell them to just leave you . So I guess…I guess I can just sit here a while so they think we talked. Or we could talk…but then again you could continue refusing to look at me for a while longer just as well. Eye contact doesn't seem to be your strength these days."

Harry glared at his friend, "The first one please, as long as it gets you to shut up."

Ron jumped up pulling Harry with him, "You're not going to do this Harry. We all know what you're doing. I don't care how many times you glare at me, or how many horrible comments you make. You can't push me away…not after all we've been through."

"How could I ever expect you to understand?", Harry squinted from behind his glasses, "where do you go every summer Ron? Well…better yet what's the comparison compared to me? I don't have my parents Ron. Sirius was all I had left…but you could never understand that could you? You've never suffered an ounce of pain in your life."

Ron took a deep breath obviously trying his hardest not to slug his friend, "I told you that your comments wouldn't push me away. But do continue, it's quite entertaining. Do you not remember how close to death my own father came Harry?"

"And look how that worked out! Some of us are born with luck while others will suffer for the rest of their lives. You might as well pull out of this friendship now before I get you killed too. It seems one a year is my rate at the moment but it's sure to triple at least this year", Harry added sarcastically, "funny though…I'm really starting to hope I can just get myself killed one of these times. I'm sure good at getting others killed."

Ron rubbed his temples for a moment before speaking in a much softer tone, "I know you feel like the worlds going to end, but without you you're right. Look, you have to figure everyone's put on this earth for a reason. Maybe Sirius' reason was just to push you along, and help you out all he could. Yes its tragic, and yes you many never fully heal but the world needs you Potter. It's not your time to die Harry, it's your time to live."

"And what if I don't want to be the hero anymore?", Harry looked directly at Ron for the first time, "what if I just want to wake up and be normal?"

"Because you're better than that. You're one of those people they're going to talk about decades from now. Harry Potter, the boy who saved the world. And me? I'm thinking best friend of the boy who saved the world is sounding pretty good.", Ron smiled.

Harry couldn't resist the small smile that appeared on his face, "You're really messed up you know that don't you?"

Ron rolled his eyes, "Now thanks to your temper, and by the way that's getting very scary, we now have this whole room to clean up before my mum sees what you've done. Aww…come on Harry I always liked this picture!"

Harry looked around the room at the mess he'd made, "Hey Ron?"

Ron who'd already begun piecing the room back together spun around to face Harry, "I'm listening."

"Thanks.", Harry spoke softly.

"That means a lot Harry", Ron laughed, "seeing how hard I know that was."

"I'm trying to be serious here!", Harry threw a pillow at Ron's head.

"Hey we're trying to clean up here!", Ron slammed it back at Harry, "and Harry…you're welcome. That's what I'm here for. Someday when I'm acting like a crazy you can let me know too."

Harry laughed loudly, "Can't wait!"

Later that evening when Harry and Ron had both gone to bed, Harry lay awake for a few minutes. He knew Remus and Ron were right. The time would come when he'd be with Sirius again, but now wasn't that time. Right now, it was time to rid the world of Voldemort for good. It was time after all, that someone got revenge for all the families he'd torn apart. A new fire burned inside of him and it was telling him that he was exactly the person for the job. 

************

As his short stay before retuning to Hogwarts came to an end, Harry was starting to feel that life really could go on even without his godfather. It was easily noticeable that Lupin had avoided him as much as possible since that night, and Harry knew he needed to apologize before he left. He was just finishing packing his new books Mrs. Weasley had brought when Lupin came to speak to him.

"Almost ready?", Remus asked from the doorway.

Harry nodded as his eyes met Lupin's, "If I haven't told you yet…I'm really sorry about snapping at you like that. It was just being here and all, it kind of got to me I guess."

Remus stepped toward Harry shutting the door behind him before he spoke, "It's alright Harry. People just handle things in all different ways."

"You mean like you just don't say anything at all?", Harry questioned shutting his trunk, "That kind of thing?"

Clearly trying to bypass the conversation Remus looked at the clock, "We should probably get to school then don't you think?"

Harry raised an eyebrow as he thought about what Remus had just said, "We? Did you say we?"

"Yeah I meant to mention that", Remus began, "Professor Dumbledore couldn't seem to find anyone to take the defense post, so he's talked me into coming back until he can fill it."

"Well I'm glad", Harry smiled, "it'll be great to have a real teacher again"

But before Remus could respond, Harry and him both jumped up at hearing a loud noise coming from downstairs. 

"Stay here", Remus commanded of Harry, "I'll just go see what that was."

"Professor Lupin!", Harry half shouted following him down the hall, "what's going on?"

"Harry", Lupin snapped furiously, "I need you to stay in your room…it's probably nothing"

Another loud bang came from downstairs. Harry watched as Lupin disappeared down the hall, leaving him alone. 

"Nobody knows were here", Harry reminded himself, "nothing to get excited about. Unless…."

"If you could kindly remove yourself from our house", Draco Malfoy stepped around the corner his usual sly smile upon his face, "because I do need to be getting ready for school"

"Malfoy?", Harry's face turned white, "What the…your house?"

"Yes Potter. Turns out your stupid godfather has no will. This means that this house here belongs to the family of the Blacks", Malfoy laughed, "and no Potter that is and never will be you"

Harry shook his head, "You're hardly even related to him! Surly there's someone who comes before your pitiful family. And your father…"

"Cleared of all charges", Draco continued, "It helps to know the right people Potter. According to the ministry unless a will turns up clearly stating what should become of the Black's residence it is the families decision to sell or live in this house. But it really is a dump if you ask me…I'd really rather not have a house you've been living in."

"Get out of my way", Harry glared at Draco, "this is after all the way out."

"We should really have you charged for breaking an entry you know", Draco continued to block Harry's path, "we really owe that house elf a lot for all he's done for us don't we Potter?"

Harry's eyes widened and for a moment, all he could do was stare at Draco. When he finally blinked he noticed how pale looking Draco was suddenly looking. Harry shoved him against the wall rushing past him and down the stairs. When he reached the first floor, Remus, Moody, and Mr. Weasley were all having a heated discussion with the absolute last person Harry wanted to see, Lucius Malfoy. Lupin was the first to notice Harry standing at the bottom of the stairs. He tried to motion for Harry to go back upstairs, but Lucius seemed to notice this. 

"What a surprise", Lucius fixed his eyes on Harry, "I do have to say you were the last person I expected to find here. You do usually hideout elsewhere don't you Potter?"

"How did you find this place?", Harry immediately demanded rushing forward, "Why are you here?"

"You always were a boy of little knowledge weren't you Potter", Lucius turned back to the adults, "now as we were discussing…"

"NO!", Harry suddenly yelled at the top of his lungs, "You are not talking the last thing I have left of him!"

"Harry upstairs!", Remus shouted back, "just like I told you in the first place!"

"Go on Harry Potter", Lucius waved his hand, "be a good boy and listen to the grownups"

Harry felt his hand forming a fist as he saw Ron pulling along his trunk out of the corner of his eye. Ron dropped the trunk upon seeing Lucius Malfoy standing in front of him. Harry's mind was racing back and forth about whether or not he should grab his wand. He couldn't believe Lupin and the rest were standing still without hardly a word said. 

"The only way you're living in this house", Moody's magical eye surveyed the room, "is if the minister himself kills us all"

"That could be arranged", Lucius gave a fake laugh before looking over his shoulder back at Harry, "you might as well put the wand away Harry. It's been demonstrated to you perfectly well what happens when idiots get to bigheaded."

Harry felt Ron put a firm hand on his shoulder trying to pull him away, "Come on Harry…it's only until we find some sort of will. Sirius knew something like this could happen. He had to have written one"

Harry let Ron drag him away from the four men who'd again begun arguing much more with Harry out of earshot. "Come On", Ron muttered softly, "forget about that. Harry, you have that look on your face that you're going to do something stupid."

Harry glanced over Ron's shoulder down the hallway, "I have to find it before we leave. Ron, I'm going to need you to buy me some time. I need another night here."

Ron rolled his eyes, "Stop this! It's just a house, and I really don't think it's worth all this."

Harry began pacing back and forth, "I just need to get sick or hurt or something. Some reason I can't go to Hogwarts today. Any ideas?"

"Harry I'm not hexing you just so you don't have to go back to school", Ron's voice echoed, "now we really really need to leave like now."

"Well now that the whole worlds heard you!", Harry swore under his breath, "I hate this! I hate him for leaving me!"

Ron bit his lip unsure of what to say, "You know I sure wish Hermione was here. I'm no good with this Harry!"

"Take out your wand", Harry shouted at Ron, "just do it Ron!"

Ron's face turned white as he pulled his wand from his back pocket, "Why?"

Harry threw his wand across the room. Ron watched in horror as the once perfectly useable wand split in two. He bent down to pick up the two pieces near his feet feeling Harry's eyes on the back of his head. 

Ron stepped back a few feet unsure of what to think, "Now why did you go and do that? Harry you're scaring me!"

"Your armed and I'm not", Harry moved toward Ron, "Now just get it over with…"

Ron's eyes widened in shock, "Have we not discussed you controlling your temper? I know you're ticked off Harry! We all do! But tell me one thing. How is putting on a little temper tantrum going to solve anything? You've been doing great all week and now…don't let one little thing change all that."

Harry's voice shook with fear, "Fine then….give me my wand back"

"Not in a million years", Ron turned to walk away, "I'm going to go get Lupin okay?"

But for Harry, that wasn't okay. He knew Lupin would stop him. And right now, he had the worst feeling coming over him. His head was pounding faster then his heart, and his stomach was all knots. Which of these things it was exactly, or whether it was a combination, Harry would never know. But moments later he found himself tackling Ron to the ground.

"HARRY!", Ron yelled giving Harry a harsh shove, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

By this time Remus and Arthur Weasley had come running obviously wondering why Ron was screaming. Both took no time to take in the situation, Remus quickly grabbed Harry from off of Ron holding his arms behind him. Arthur helped a quite frightened Ron to his feet, all eyes now staring at Harry.

Arthur having a great more amount of parental experience looked from Ron to Harry simply asking, "So which one of you wants to explain this?"

Harry, who was struggling to get away from Lupin refused to respond in anyway. He himself wasn't sure where the sudden suicidal thoughts had come from. 

"I don't know Dad", Ron's eyes were fixed on Harry, "he just went kinda nuts…one minute we were talking and--"

"Just leave me alone!", Harry felt Remus tighten his grip.

Arthur and Remus exchanged a glace with each other. He motioned for Ron to follow, and soon Harry was left alone with Remus.

"Just sit down", Remus gently pushed Harry toward the ground, "It'll pass Harry…you're fine"

Harry leaned his head against the wall briefly shutting his eyes. Soon enough, his head seemed to pound less., and his breathing slowed down. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Remus sit down next to him.

"Ron's fine in case you're wondering", Remus tried to get Harry to look over at him, "he's on his way to school now."

Harry covered his eyes with his hands, wanting more then anything else to disappear, "I don't know what happened…what came over me."

"I think", Remus began, "for the first time, you've realized Sirius isn't just on vacation or something like that. You had a panic attack of some sort which is exactly why we need to get you out of here. You aren't ready to be here and I'm sorry we pushed it on you to soon."

"But what if--"

"Relax Harry! If I know Sirius, a will is going to turn up. Leave things like that for me to worry about. You're only sixteen, and I think sometimes even you forget that", Remus looked down at his watch, "I better tell Dumbledore that you aren't on the train"

"Well---", Harry frowned, "I kind of have a small problem. I sort of snapped my wand in half…and Ron kinda took off with it"

"We'll deal with that when we get to school. I'm sure Dumbledore can arrange something with Olivander", Remus stood up before proceeding to extend an arm to Harry, "now let's go grab our stuff and head to school"

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Author's Note

Hey Everyone,

I told you I'd be back didn't I? Very much late, I realize, but I hope you like this new story just as much as the rest. Thank you ever so much for your patience with me! And drop a review when you're done because I put a lot of work into this chapter, and I'd like to hear what you thought of it. Mainly because I'm hoping that my writing has improved in the last half a year or so since I last posted. So anyway without any further ado…GO REVIEW! 

AngelDusterBuster

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	2. Emotions

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When Forever Ends

By: AngelDusterBuster

Author's Note: This takes place AFTER the Order of the Phoenix; do not read this unless you have COMPLETED book five.

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Summary: Harry's world was shaken forever after the death of his godfather. But he's beginning to learn things about Sirius that he wished he never had. Could it be that the Sirius Black in which Harry thought he knew was a lie? 

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Disclaimer: Basically I own nothing except the things I make up. You decide which are which.

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Chapter Two: Emotions

Harry arrived at the feast about halfway in. Now all heads already would've turned to see the latecomer, but seeing he was Harry Potter they paused for even longer. The room went almost silent as if expecting him to start shooting off curses at them. 

Professor Dumbledore seemed to notice this standing up from his seat, "Welcome back to Hogwarts Harry, were just enjoying this wonderful feast. Do join us."

Harry nodded uneasily as he spotted Hermione and Ron. Ron seemed to be avoiding his glace, but Hermione smiled at him as he came closer. Trying his hardest to ignore the stares around him, he quickly moved toward the Gryffindor table. 

"What haven't you ever been late to something before?", Harry heard Hagrid's voice speaking to the crowd, "I'm sure Harry is very sorry, now go back to what you were doing."

Harry looked over at Hagrid thankfully before he'd finally sat down next to Hermione. She began throwing food on a plate for him, but he gently pushed it away.

"Hermione…I'm really not hungry", Harry began before turning back to Ron, "you're mad at me aren't you?"

"And what would make you think that?", Ron snapped sarcastically, "look I don't know what's wrong with you, but everyone's going through the same thing as you. Only acting less selfish about it"

"Ron!", Hermione glared at the redhead sitting across from her, "leave poor Harry alone. I thought we talked about this-"

Harry stopped her, "Its okay Hermione. Not everyone can be as perfect as Ron after all. I'm just going to go up to bed…what's the password?"

Hermione quickly stood up before either boy could react, "Unless you want me embarrass you both in front of the whole school you'll follow me."

Harry looked over to Ron to see if he was following Hermione. Ron seemed to be doing the same. Hermione had already stormed out of the Great Hall obviously willing Ron and him to follow. Finally both boys, keeping a safe distance from one another, began walking toward the exit doors.

"Excuse me", Harry felt a hand grab his arm, "excuse me but I couldn't help but notice you're being very rude."

Harry turned around annoyed. It was a girl. But as he opened his mouth to speak she'd already turned to ignore him. 

"Do I know you?", Harry asked confused, "because I don't normally accuse people I don't know of being rude. Because maybe they had a perfectly good reason and-"

The girl rolled her eyes setting her glass back down on the table, "You're one of those people who aren't going to give up until they've been proven right aren't you Harry?"

"I'm out of here", Harry shrugged angrily.

She stuck out her hand saying, "Torrance Tarver. I'm new here. But it was nice meeting you even though you're still rude."  


"Why am I rude? Making assumptions before you know someone isn't the smartest thing to do. I don't care what news paper article or what have it you read about me."

She tilted her head to the side, "You're in the newspaper? Hmm, never would've known. No, I heard about you from that boy over there actually."

Harry looked to where she was pointing. His eyes widened when he realized the boy was Draco Malfoy.

Harry shook his head, "Him? He's the furthest thing from a friend you could ever have. If you take any advice around here take this, stay away from Malfoy."

"Well if you can't trust your own family who is there to trust?", Torrance stared up at Harry, "but I guess that isn't the case with my family. Draco's my cousin. My cousin that hates me, but seems to like to tell me what to do. He told me not to talk to you., which sorry to say, but gave me even more reason to talk to you."

"Well…", Harry stuttered taken aback, "I should get going my friends-"

"The ones you were arguing with?", Torrance spoke up brushing a strand of hair from her eyes, "or the one that's staring at you at that table over there."

"The ones that--", Harry began, "Who? Who's staring at me?"

"I told you! That kid over there! The one with the multi colored hair that does absolutely nothing for his already horrendous appearance", Torrance signed, "maybe you should go talk to him."

"Are you sure it's not you he's staring at?", Harry looked over at the boy who was seated one table over. 

"I don't think he's staring actually. Looks more like observing. Some people like to do that you know. Usually people who are searching for something. Instead of just plain selfish like you, his soul is empty."

"So now I'm selfish?", Harry rolled his eyes finally sitting down in the open seat next to Torrance, "you generated all this just from this short conversation?"

"You have the aura around you. I can usually see these things in people…it's a gift I know. So Harry Potter, tell me, what's troubling you. Fame finally get to you?", Torrance paused seeing the expression on Harry's face, "are you okay? Maybe I'm wrong this time, prove me wrong."

"Harry!", Hermione's voice came from behind him, "Ron already left thanks so much. We are not going through another year like this."

Harry turned around looking at Hermione, "So why aren't you talking to him? You did hear what he said to me didn't you?"

"Excuse me", Torrance put a hand on Harry's shoulder, "Maybe you should let Harry here fight his own battles. I just can't stand it when people try to get in between like that--"

Hermione glared at Torrance, "I don't know who you are but just stay out of this. Come on Harry now."

"Hermione times have changed", Harry stared at Hermione, "I've changed. I don't need this dramatic cobwebbed up lifestyle. I just can't handle it anymore!"

Torrance frowned at Harry, "You're not breaking up with the poor girl are you?"

Harry and Hermione snapped back in unison stating, , "We are not going out!"

"Alright", Torrance rolled her eyes, "You both need to chill out. You're starting to stress me out!"

Hermione grabbed Harry's arm pulling him out of his seat, "It was very nice meeting you, but Harry needs to be elsewhere at the moment."

"I'm tired myself", Torrance reached for a small bag next to her, "Could one of you tell me where the Gryffindor Dorms are?"

Hermione's mouth snapped open in horror, "You're in Gryffindor? Sitting at the wrong table then aren't you?"  


"Yeah I guess so", Torrance shrugged, "But then again I don't really get along with rules."

"Oh hi Professor Lupin!", Hermione grinned seeing Torrance biting her lip, "Harry was just introducing me to his new friend."

"I'll be leaving now", Harry pulled away from Hermione, "goodnight everyone!"

"Harry hold up", Lupin put a firm hand on his shoulder, "we need to have a little talk. It was nice meeting you…hope you had a good summer Hermione."

"I really just wanted to go to bed. That's all. Wasn't planning on doing anything else to cause anymore excitement tonight.", Harry turned to face Lupin, "did I do something wrong?"

"Harry I know I don't need to press upon you the fact that you need to be very careful this year", Lupin looked over his shoulder, "we should probably go somewhere else."

"Professor Lupin I don't need the Harry be a good boy pep talk", Harry replied, "I'm fine! I'm sorry about today but honestly I'm fine now. In fact I've never been better."

Lupin shook his head, "I'm sure. Let's go Harry."

"Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like what you're about to say?", Harry stepped back, "I can take care of myself if you haven't noticed."

"Were not doing this out here", Lupin pushed Harry down the hall into a small classroom, "Harry you can't take care of yourself. You think with your heart and not your brain and its something that's always been a problem for you. Why I had to be the one to talk to you, I don't know but this is what Professor Dumbledore wanted-"

"What are they finally expelling me?", Harry laughed softly.

"Harry you're not allowed to be anywhere without an adult anymore", Lupin finally let it out, "and I'd listen to Professor Dumbledore's orders before it gets worse."

"WHAT?", Harry yelled in frustration, "how am I supposed to have a life? And what the heck is this suppose to accomplish? Am I being punished? I won't live like that. I'd rather be expelled, can't you just expel me?"

"You know it's really not that bad", Lupin assured Harry, "and you have to understand. Look what happened with Ron today. It's not punishment, it's because we care about you."

"Or rather you're trying to keep the students at this school safe from me", Harry slammed his fist against his leg, "you do realize you can't order me around for much longer. Once I graduate I'm going far far away from here. I hate you, and I hate everyone else here!"

"For goodness sake Harry what the hell are we supposed to do? You don't listen to what we say so I've given up hope that some sort of rules would work. You brought it on yourself and that's all I can say."

"If you don't mind I'm going to bed like I wanted to do before", Harry snapped furiously, "and just so you know…Sirius would never do this to me."

"Sirius is dead Harry!", Lupin shouted, "it's about time you realize that! He's not coming back, and you've spent to long denying it."

"Just stay away from me", Harry shook his head with a look of disgust on his face, "of every person in the world I thought you would be the one to understand. I should have expected it. Nobody cared about me when my parents were killed, and they sure don't now."

"HARRY", Lupin shouted taken aback by Harry's words. But Harry had already pulled a disappearing act. He'd already fled from the room. 

Lupin sat down in one of the desks whispering softly to himself, "I guess that means you don't want your wand back."

**********

Harry had never felt the way he felt right now ever before in his life. It was anger, sadness, and hurt all wrapped up into one. It tore his heart in two to think Lupin was already over Sirius' death. He wasn't sure where to go after he ran out on Lupin. He only knew he needed to go somewhere he wouldn't be interrupted. Somewhere he could sort his thoughts out. 

So he took his father's invisibility cloak and started walking. He slammed the double doors at the front of the school open, and stormed outside. The weather seemed to be acting exactly how he felt. It was raining quite hard, but he didn't care. 

Finally he tore off the cloak staring up at the cloudy sky. He remembered his first day at Hogwarts. How magical and innocent it had seemed. If someone told him the years he had ahead, he never would've believed them. 

He never would've believed he'd meet his father's best friend. He never would've last year believed he could've lost Sirius just as fast. And now? Now everyone was not afraid of what he'd do, but afraid of him. Momentarily he wished he could simply drown himself in the rain. He wished he could stop life, and take a moment to breathe. And most of all, he wished Sirius Black was still alive. 

But as much as he expected it, nobody came looking for Harry Potter that night. In fact he fell asleep even with the rain pouring on his face. But as gently as he'd fallen asleep, waking up was much rougher. 

"Ouch!", Harry winced with pain as his eyes snapped open. It took a minute to realize where he was, and how he'd gotten there. 

"Let's go Potter. Some of us would like to get back to our jobs", Professor Snape stood above Harry, "yes Potter for some reason the whole school shuts down when you go missing."

Harry stood up his wet clothes sticking to his sides. If Snape's anger was anything to go by, he knew it'd get worse. He hadn't meant to not return to his bed. He'd just simply put, fallen asleep. 

"Potter do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?", Snape finally spoke after the two had started walking, "for once in your life maybe you could just listen to what someone superior to you has to say. As hard as it is for me to call Lupin superior to anyone…it doesn't bother you at all to yell at him does it?"

"What do you mean?", Harry questioned, "What'd he tell you?"

Snape sighed with irritation , "Well he lost Black too you know. All the things you've lost, he's lost. Only he doesn't go around acting like a selfish brat does he?"

Harry stopped walking, "What do you care anyway? You've hated me since day one. Wouldn't me being a selfish brat just give you an easier reason to hate me?"

"You don't really want me to answer that do you?", Snape continued walking, "just get inside Potter."

As awkward as he felt, Harry finally gave in tearing the door open. He looked to Snape curious where he was suppose to go from here. But Snape gave him to signal to follow, Harry decided it was a good idea on his own. Finally a few corridors later his face scrunched up unsure why they'd stopped in front of the door they had.

Harry glanced at the infirmary sign, "Thanks for caring but if you haven't noticed I'm perfectly fine"

"What did I just tell you about listening to people that are wiser then you are?", Snape snapped back giving Harry a push. 

The room was completely deserted, as it was the first day of real classes. No test anxiety or pranks had yet sent any students to the hospital wing. Everyone except Harry that was.

"There you are Potter!", Madam Pomfrey came rushing out with a handful of things in her arms, "plop yourself right up on this bed."

"But I'm not sick", Harry looked from Snape to Madam Pomfrey, "I'm not!"

"Dear why don't you just change out of those wet clothes before you get sick. That is if you haven't already", Madam Pomfrey tossed some pajamas Harry's way, "Professor Dumbledore will be down soon then Severus?"

Harry pulled the curtains around him ignoring the conversation going on between the two adults. He gladly changed out of his wet robs as quickly as possible. But even as he tried to ignore he couldn't help when the conversation turned to something very dear to his heart. Pushing the curtain back, he strained to hear the whispers coming from the next room.

He could barely make out Snape's voice, "Is it really worth it? Malfoy's going to come up with some other excuse even if they do find a will. And besides Black probably doesn't need anyone searching through his belongings. It'd only draw more attention to--"

"Good morning Harry"

Harry turned around with shock to see who had spoken to him. Albus Dumbledore sat down on the bed nearest to Harry. Harry noticed a look of concern on his face. 

"I figured it was time for me to talk to you", Dumbledore's eyes were fixed on Harry, "you seemed to have forgotten the rule don't kill the messenger."

Even though he knew it was a joke, Harry still remained silent unsure of what to say. His eyes remained on the ground, though he could still feel Dumbledore's upon him.

Dumbledore spoke not allowing Harry to interrupt, "Harry we both know what you've been through in the past few months, and even the past few years. I know you're angry, and Remus isn't the one to direct it at. I can already promise you there are tougher times ahead. Harry you're going through a test right now that only you can pass yourself through."

"A test?", Harry blurted out, "so now Sirius' death is just something plotted to get me prepared to fight Voldemort? Well I don't want the job!"

Dumbledore stood from his seat, "Harry there are ways for us to help you, but only if you let us. The running away and yelling isn't healthy for you or anyone around you. You have to face reality. And I'm not even talking as far as Voldemort. Right now my main, and only concern is you."

"Me?", Harry questioned as if something stupid had been said, "I'm afraid I don't understand sir."

Harry noticed Dumbledore shift uneasily, "Harry, if you have to ask that then you truly haven't learned a thing since your arrival at Hogwarts. Magic can only take you so far. There's so much we can teach you, and I'm not at all worried about you not learning it all before you graduate. But I'm afraid in trying to keep you safe at the Dursley's there are things you missed out on. Things you should've learned when you were a small child."

Harry noticed someone else enter the room, but Dumbledore took no notice of this. It was Remus Lupin that had entered the room, but he paused in the doorway. There was something about when Albus Dumbledore spoke. Everyone stopped what they were doing and froze in place to listen. 

"Harry, you don't know how to love and you don't know how to let yourself be loved", Dumbledore motioned something to Lupin. 

"That's just stupid", Harry shook his head, "of course I know how to…well you know. I'm not the head case you're describing. I'm just not."

"I'll leave you two alone", Dumbledore whispered to Lupin, "but I need to have a word with you later Remus."

Lupin nodded seeming to understand Dumbledore's message. As he watched the headmaster walk away he felt strange once again being in the same room as Lupin. 

"I'm sorry about the things I said", Harry blurted out, "I don't know what's wrong with me these days. I seem to be making everyone hate me."

"We're just pushing to hard to get the old Harry back", Remus shook his head, "but believe me I'll step away if that's what you need. Just please don't scare me like that again…."

"But I do need you!", Harry jumped off the bed he'd been seating on, "you….you're all I have left. I'm just so scared that…that you'll die too."

No words were needed to be spoken. It was clear to Harry at that moment that he needed Lupin as much as Lupin needed him. It was time for him to be angry at the right person. It was time for him to get his revenge. It was time Harry prepared for the war ahead.

**************

Author's Note: 

Life's been throwing me some craziness curveballs lately which is why this chapter is both short and late. But it was pretty much a transitional chapter anyway. I promise you the depressing stuff is going to take a left turn and we are going to take a right turn. The true plot as described in the summary will start next chapter. 

But wow! I'm like speechless about how many reviews you people pumped in! I have to say 28 for one chapter is a new record for me. So keep them coming! I love reading them and they truly do inspire me to write more. 

But I just want to take a moment to make one thing perfectly clear. As close as I'm going to try to stay to the plot, there are some things I am going to change. Most of you didn't seem to care, but one person pinned me for something that would never happen in the real book. 

Thank You For Your Ever Growing Support!

AngelDusterBuster

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Kurbani- Awww…thank you kindly! There is romance planned, although I won't say who with who. Because that'd ruin the story! 

Sango-hanyou- Very dramatic…and this one was too. But there's lighter stuff coming I promise! I just couldn't start the story with Harry all happy…cause well you know that'd be strange. But thanks!

Rathien1- Thanks I will!

Sky Brooks- Well glad ya found it! And I'm glad to be of service. I just hope this chapter lived up to the last one. First chapters are easy cause there's no pressure to get them out. 

Latonya- That's exactly what I was trying to do. Glad it worked!

Whitemudfounder- Yeah it was a long time…L . Sorry bout that. 

Katydid- Please see above. That's all I can say.

Sara*magic- That is exactly why I had to write it. I started it the minute I finished the book so I was still crying while I wrote it…

Skysong15- Thank you kindly!

Elessar- Ditto! Or if ya didn't read what I just wrote…thank you kindly!

Mella- I might've touched on this for about one line if you noticed. But this is something I'll be dealing with in the future. And just for some interesting information, the Malfoy's are actually closer on the family tree then the Weasley's are. Even though there both distant.

Guardian angel of wolves- With that many pleases I just had to!

Arwena- Why are we all so sick in the fact that we love to see Harry's tantrums and stuff? And fights! Geeze were all a bunch of weirdoes. And I'm one too because I love writing them. But I'm glad to be back!

Harry twin- Will do!

Them Girl- Thanks a bunch.

Anaticulapraecantrix- Sam…haha that made me laugh. Thanks! Sam kinda disappeared….wonder where he went!

Miss. Issues- Nice name…haha. Favorite author…wow I'm honored to make that list. Thank you so much!

CNJ- Another famillar name…Harry's going to get better don't worry. I'd be the same way as he was right now if my godfather had just died though. Harry was just learning what love was and it was taken away from him. 

Bookworm2000- Disappearing act…haha that's great. But thanks.

Mella deRanged- Wow I was glancing at your bio…glad I met the requirements! And I think I'll copy what I just said to someone else because I'm getting lazy: I might've touched on this for about one line if you noticed. But this is something I'll be dealing with in the future. And just for some interesting information, the Malfoy's are actually closer on the family tree then the Weasley's are. Even though there both distant.

Someone- Thanks! But I really don't know how to beat out Sooner or Later. People really seemed to love that one. 

Istalksiriusonweekends- Of course I remember you! You're one of those cool beans people that talks to me online! But thanks!

Katie- Awww…I'm sorry. But they're gone. It wasn't that I didn't have support…I don't know what happened really. But this is where I am now and I hope you love this story just as much.

Dragania Amma Lyris Malfoy- Wow! Quite the penname you've got there. I sure hope your right. This chapter was quite rushed…I promise to make up for it next time around.

Cierra- I love that name. It makes me sad to. But it's part of our grieving process! Oh my god did I really just say that…haha.

Gia- Thank you kindly!

Ashley- Cool beans! Well I'm glad you love my stories so much. And waLAH. Here's the chapter you asked for.

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Author's 2nd Note: (haha couldn't resist)

That was a long author's note. I'm sure I'll take grief from one of you about that! But until next time please review! I can't tell you enough how much I loved all the reviews that came in. 


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